you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
