(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
