Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
