is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
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