I just cut my nipple shaving
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
