he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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