Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
