It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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