You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
