The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
