If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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