I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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