sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
