My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
