hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
