so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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