we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
