I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So many bounce houses so little time
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
