i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
