Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
