tell your sister to shave her snatch
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
