Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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