Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
