Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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