I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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