Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
