so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
