We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
