i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
