so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
