she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
