It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
