is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
