Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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