do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
