remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
