fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
