I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
