just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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