I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
