i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
