its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
