So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
