Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
