I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
