What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
