so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have feelings that need drinking.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
