apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
