I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
birth control should be required to get into college
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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