Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
