But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
