I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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