I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
